Pedophile Predator Pastor Gilyard Claims he "Lives in a Glass House...it's been tough"

I can hardly stomach the headline of the news story...

Darrell Gilyard Breaks Silence on his Fall from Grace

(First Coast News, July 7th 2014 )

Fall from grace? Is that what this was? I think its much more ugly and much more vicious than the title insinuates. A fall from grace is more a term for an adulterous marriage from a Pastor, a theft of church finances, a scandal...things that are painful and disgraceful from the leadership. Some may feel that these things disqualify one from the role of a Pastor. And that is left to be debated in other arenas.

Let's be really transparent and brutally honest here - I think it is time.

Darrell Gilyard did not just "fall from grace"...Darrell Gilyard never should have been given the role of a Pastor in the first place. Darrell Gilyard was accused of and KNOWN to BE a sexually deviant predator long before his rise to fame.

Darrell Gilyard's crimes against women and young girls far outdates his very short prison term, 14 years of Pastoring at Shiloh, or these 7 years that the story reports he has "remained silent". My stomach turns even as I type these words. His known crimes date back to his seminary days in the 80's...yes, even in seminary he victimized.

And yes, the leadership was told and brave women came forward only to be told that they were not worthy to accuse, belittled by the man they reported these crimes to, told that they must've enticed him, dressed innapropriately and they were ignored and pushed aside...after all, there were big plans for Darrell Gilyard the charismatic young man with a great big story of hardship and overcoming, a young black preacher that would make those big Southern Baptist white men look good. And it couldn't all unravel with a scandal, no, that just wouldn't do. They would "deal with him" and "watch him" instead.

They claim they did all they could do. "Who?"

Paige Patterson and Jerry Vines - they were the two advising, leading, guiding, promoting and introducing the young up and coming dynamo Darrell Gilyard. They were the ones that introduced and promoted him to Jerry Falwell and to all of the "Big Dogs" of the Southern Baptist Convention. They were the Watch Keeper's and they failed miserably!

But, alas, they did not have one failure there were many more years to come concerning Darrell Gilyard. You see, sexually deviant predators are sick, they do not stop. They victimize and their crimes gradually become worse, they have the potential to later attack younger victims, and he did.

By the time I  learned of Darrell Gilyard, I was a 17 year old Senior in High School. Actually, I must correct this - I learned of Darrell years prior as he was a member of my home church - First Baptist Church of Jacksonville, Florida and Jerry Vines was our Pastor. Darrell was hand selected by Dr. Jerry Vines and then was introduced to his friend Paige Patterson and given a scholarship to the seminary as they prepped him to do God's work. I actually thought that Pastor's were "called" into ministry - this has been described as a pull or a feeling from God that is telling them that He has a plan. Evidently, this time, Dr.Vines received this "call" instead of Gilyard...hmmm. I believe that God would not have called such a man. God already knew of these problems Gilyard had, nothing is hidden from God. I do not believe that God chooses for people to be victimized, nor do I feel that God is in desperate need of "Pastors" that He would choose such a man. Nor do I feel that God would choose for Gilyard to be back behind the pulpit at this point, having committed such devious crimes. I believe there are plenty of men available to lead such a position. Shame on you all for being so naive to think that your people are safe, and that you are being properly lead in ministry.

This man has done NOTHING to apologize, he has NEVER asked our forgiveness, he has NEVER done anything to repay the victims or their families, he has not admitted to any counseling nor treatment for his problem (it doesn't just go away), and he was hardly out of prison before you had him in a pulpit. Now he speaks on the news report and all he talks about is "poor me" because people haven't forgotten his crimes, because it is still there for the world to be warned, because it's been so tough for him, because he has been talked about negatively, he is labeled as a leper (good choice of words), he feels he is in the right ministry, he feels he has changed and he has "paid my debt to society", I mean after all, let's give him a little credit, while in Wakulla Pen. he changed the GED program! In what areas does this man seem to be broken over what he did? Where was it that he apologized for the damage he caused? Where is any humility?

Gilyard said in this interview,  "I've paid my debt to society all I can do is move forward."

Was his short prison term his payment of debt to society? Well, let's try to tell that to the two young girls (now women) that he was convicted of abusing. Let's tell that to their parents. Let's be sure to tell this to the string of young women that's lives were touched by evil and confusion while he was in seminary and the to each and every woman (young and older) that he abused at each and every church (yes EVERY one) that he Pastored prior to Shiloh and his long overdue "fall from grace"...and my story was intermingled in there in the early 90's...long before he even ended up at Shiloh so many years ago.

It should've ended before it ever got started - but that would've been far to embarrassing for those men back then, and it would've interfered with all of their plans and all of that glory. And if you ask them today, their responses are less than comforting. In fact, for Paige Patterson you will feel as if you are being attacked - and his answers sound more like pointing fingers than apology. For Dr. Vines, well he's real sorry, he "just didn't know any better" and it was "more Paige Patterson's involvement back then" (than his). And so much more could be said on this part of the story...but the important part is that it was no secret (well maybe publicly it was a secret for a while) but the important people knew, and there were already victims. As I told both Patterson (back in 2007) and Dr. Vines recently, the "blood is on their hands" for each and every victim after the first, they bear the crime too. And they will answer for it - and they cannot fool themselves at that point in thinking that they were "doing God's work". It is all over when God confronts them with the pain of all of these victims. God has known every one of their tears and He has known the sorrow and pain of these women and girls. Some have never healed, some have broken homes, hurting children, are not able to function, some have left the church. They know the pain of this great heart break - while the "Big Dogs" went on to become famous and respected and went on to become wealthy under the guise of "ministry" while they harbored this sin and these crimes.

Recently, Dr. Vines reopened this story with the incorrect re telling of this story. Many of the things said are false or misrepresented. Many things were said to attempt to restore his legacy and to repaint his part in this saga. But we didn't allow it - and I won't allow it. For all of the victims, I want the record straight! Lifeway has recently agreed to edit out parts of the story in future publications, but there were already thousands in print and on bookshelves nationally and I am not ok with that.

Gilyard also said, "It has been tough when people expect you to run and hide," said Gilyard," but I've decided that they weren't going to push me into the shadows; I live in a glass house."

We don't want you to be pushed into the shadows Predator Gilyard, that was the point of making sure you went to prison and were convicted as a predator, we want the truth exposed. You need to be in a glass house.

I am not ok with the Predator going on the news to discuss his "glass house" existence and "tough times" and for two well respected and powerful Pastors and past "President's of the Southern Baptist Convention" to go on to write books and profit from an ugly and painful story that wasn't even told in accuracy - that was in fact a bold lie. While they drive their fancy cars and sit in their fancy mansions, earning there large salaries and speaking engagement monies, while they are seen as icons of the faith. It is not resonating with me any longer - actually, it never did, but I am breaking my silence and I am declaring that not one man fell from grace, but all three have lost the ability to properly lead and shepherd people. The ministry of lies and deceit and cover up is not a legacy to be proud of. Especially when you cannot even stand up and humbly ask forgiveness, but instead point fingers and choose to victimize the victims to protect yourselves.

Yes, God can use anyone, even the broken and disgraced, we are all sinners, we are all "fallen" but usefulness follows repentance and brokeness. The story is in the mistakes, the pain, the brokeness after the fall, the repentance, the sorrow, the restoration...the humility and willingness for your story to be used (including the faults). Not this! Not hurting people and then pointing fingers and playing victim. Dr. Vines even shamelessly pointed a "possible" finger towards Dr. Lindsey - who did not even know of the crime against me. And yes, I spoke to Dr. Vines about this too. Not a satisfactory answer given as to why he pulled him in with his recent story. I assure you, Dr. Lindsey is the one I should've gone to with my horrible nightmare, the outcome would've been much different and the whole world would've known that Darrell Gilyard should not be allowed to Pastor again. And I wouldn' t have been told to "let me handle this".

Shameless. That's how I see these men now.

And I've extended every opportunity - I have even personally asked them to set the record straight and to atleast say they wished they could go back and handle things differently, (that is a pretty safe admission) and I couldn't even get that courtesy.

Social Media hasn't forgotten Darrell Gilyard, and it certainly won't forget it either, Ken Amaro (First Coast News) and your story will be retold and discussed as well - as you forgot a lot of important points in the telling. It was recently discussed on HLN in Dr. Drew's story about the pedophile pastor. Dr. Drew along with his panel discussed the outrage of a pedophile Pastor. They properly spoke about the disgust and outrage of this situation.

National News, public blogs, news reports, Watchdog sites, and other blogs bringing light to this dark secret within our churces - and it will continue. We are people who care, we are people that aren't earning the millionaire salaries, we are the people struggling to survive the crimes waged against us, the voices you have attempted to silence. We are strong, we are united, we are going to continue to shine light in the dark places. We will push to make our children safer, we will push for a database to report sexual crimes within the church - you cannot stop us. You need to make your wrongs right - repair the damage done - put some of those big earnings towards something that matters. Do something before the Lord and for the people that is honorable and humbling.

To all of you leaders and Pastors and church boards - take notice - public scandal of covered secrets only grow and get uglier. Stand for righteousness - stand for light - be real men of God - just be real men, what would you want done for your daughter or wife or son?
According to Pamela Cooper White, in her article, Soul Stealing: Power Relations in Pastoral Sexual Abuse,  "Pastoral abuse--pastors engaging in sexual or romantic relationships with their parishioners or counsels--is much more prevalent than is commonly supposed. Estimates exceed the 10 percent figure..."

She goes on to state:
"My own observations are based on working more than ten years in the battered women's movement, in the church since 1984 as an ordained pastor, and since August 1989 as a consultant in a program for survivors of clergy exploitation. In convening a support group for such survivors, I have witnessed the lasting devastations that these women have experienced."         

Victims of sexual abuse or of sexual attacks do not easily heal, the wounds are forever there and the confusion of church abuse is as ugly as family abuse - it is one of the greatest crimes and a stain on our churches. Hypocrisy at its finest.

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing."

(Edmund Burke)